Call of Duty vs Strawberry Shortcake Who wins?
by TheIntergalactic
Summary: Probably Call of Duty. Anyway, a paramilitary group called The Shortcakes have taken over the country of Tajikstan in a swift and bloody coup. The UN responds by sending in several squad of the vaunted Task Force 141. Booyah.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Call of Duty or Strawberry Shortcake. Other people own them.

August 12th, 2013, 7:28 PM. Mountains

The Task Force 141 team was comprised of Soap, Ghost, Roach, Archer, Meat, Ozone, and Chemo. They were part of a HK, or Hunter Killer Team, in the mountains of Strawberrystan. Strawberrystan was formerly known as Tajikistan, and the former government was usurped in a bloody coup by the paramilitary group known as the Shortcakes. The former Tajikistan Government was in hiding, and had requested outside assistance. The UN had responded by sending in several teams of the vaunted TF 141.

"Soap, this is Archer. I have eyes on an enemy patrol."

"Roger that Archer. Where are they?"

"Half a click northeast of us, on patrol going to the west. You should be able to intercept and ambush in two minutes, over."

"How many?"

"I count 4 tangos, over."

"Roger that Archer." Soap flicked off his radio, and whispered to his squad. "Alright, we've got 11 bad guys half a click northeast of us, moving on patrol on the road going west. Move out!"

The team was marching up the treacherous rocks of the mountains, when Archer came over their radios.

"Soap, the patrol has stopped. I repeat, they have stopped."

"What are they doing?"

"It looks like they are digging something up... I'm not really sure what it is. Might be a bomb."

"Alright, thanks." Soap looked at his team."Move out. They stopped, so that gives us more time."

The team had finally gotten to the western road, and they had set up an ambush. Two C4 packs were buried under the road, with a tripwire strung to a flash bang in the middle. Ozone, Meat, and Chemo were on one side of the road, while Ghost, Roach, and Soap were on the other. After a few minutes of waiting, Archer came over the radio.

"Soap. The tangos have dug up a crate of weapons. They have moved out again, heading your way. I assume another 2 minutes until contact, over."

"Roger that, Archer. Soap out." He turned, and told his whole team. "No one fires until Ghost and I blow the C4. Roger?" Everyone responded with a roger.

"Ugh! I don't want to carry these anymore!" Mint Tulip whined. Peach Blush, who was also carrying the crate of weapons, nodded in agreement. The leader of the group, Angel Cake, raised her AK and cocked the gat back.

"Mint Tulip, please do not whine anymore. Strawberry does not tolerate dissent. We have to get these weapons to fuel the war effort. Now do you understand?" Mint Tulip looked down the barrel of the gun and gulped.

"Ok Angel."

"Thank you."

"Now can you put the gun down?"

"If you insist." The other in the group, Banana Twirl, was just looking around, enjoying the fresh air and sunlight. She remembered executing a family that supported the old government. She chuckled to herself. She was the point, so she noticed something glinting in the sunlight. She ran up to it, and it was a string. She twanged it, and when she did, there was a bright light and loud bang! She stumbled around, dazed. Suddenly, two explosions went off near her, and she went flying through the air, then landed many feet away. She looked down at her body in a daze, and was horrified to see that her chest was blown open, and she didn't have her right leg. She looked back at the road, at her friends. She saw that Mint Tulip was on the ground, a pool of blood under her head. Peach Blush was wildly spraying around with her AK, when two bullets slammed into her head, and she went flying back. Angel Cake hit the deck fast, but she wasn't faster than a burst of bullets that slammed into her chest.

Banana Twirl watched the whole thing, horrified. A few seconds after her friends all died, a group of soldiers got up from either side of the road. One walked up to her, and raised a pistol. The last thing she saw was the barrel of a nine.

"Alright team, regroup on me." Soap said. The team gathered around him. "It's a 4 klick walk from here to the capitol, so we should get some headway. Anyone know how long it is until dark?" Chemo checked his watch.

"One hour sir."

"Good." Soap turned on his radio. "Archer."

"Yes sir?"

"Meet us down at rally point Bravo in 10 minutes."

"Roger." Soap looked out at his squad.

"Everyone, move out!" The squad moved out.

August 12th, 2013, 10:07. Newly ne-named Shortcake Capital

Strawberry Shortcake walked through the hallways of her newly won Capital building, running her hands across the stone walls in wonder. She stepped on something, and it was a human hand. She picked it up, and handed it to her bodyguard. "Dispose of it." The bodyguard bowed and left with the hand. Strawberry kept walking, pausing sometimes to admire her forces handiwork. Bullet holes, explosive residue, and spent shell casings were everywhere. She sighed contently. She walked into her Parliament chamber, which had been converted into a war room. Her top commander, Huckleberry Muffin, quickly walked up to her, fear in his eyes. Strawberry narrowed her eyes in displeasure.

"My lord, I bring bad news. The shipment of weapons that was supposed to have been brought here an hour ago has not returned. We sent out a helicopter, and discovered their bodies on the road. They were ambushed." Everyone in the war room was quite. They all started fearfully at Strawberry. Fast as lightning, she drew her pistol and shot Huckleberry in the knees. He collapsed, screaming in pain.

"I do not tolerate loss."

"Yes! Yes, yes of course my lord! Thank you for sparing me, lord!" He quickly groveled at her feet. Strawberry chuckled, and said

"Did i say that I spared you?" Huckleberry looked up in confusion.

"My.. My lord?" Strawberry raised her hand and dismissively waved her hand, then said to her guards

"Throw him to the dogs. I understand they have not been fed in a week?" The guard nodded. "Good." Two of her guards dragged Huckleberry away, who was screaming and pleading with them to let him go. When the screaming receded and finally disappeared, she turned to the rest in the room. "Let that be a lesson to the rest of you. Now back to work!" They all jumped and scurried back to their places.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own the two sets of characters involved. I'm just using them in a dry humor parody.

Also, to anyone who might be reading, I would recommend reading it to yourself with a British accent.

August 13th, 1:18 AM, Shortcake City

She was bored. Here she was, the great Spy Raisin Cane, and she was stuck here guarding a stupid vehicle depot! She had better things to do, gosh darn it. She could be cooking, or cleaning, or making pies, or slaughtering enemies of the state, but no! She had to guard a flipping truck stop. She sat down in a folding chair, and started reading a Cooking Light magazine. While she was reading, she did not notice a shadow move in the alleyways. When the shadow had to dash across the well lit area of the lamp post, she looked up, but it was long gone. She shook her head and went back to reading.

Ozone shook his head and silently berated himself. He almost let the guard see him! He needed to more careful. He crept around and behind the guard. She was sitting in a chair, reading a magazine! how unprofessional of her. A rookie mistake. Well, Ozone was here to, correct, that mistake. In his ear piece, Archer said

"She's zoned out. There are no other guards around either. You're clear." Ozone nodded to himself, and crept forward towards the guard, garroting wire at hand.

Raisin Cane was just sitting there, calmly reading, when her radio came on. It was her superior, Lemonberrykin.

"Raisin Cane! Raisin Cane!" Raisin Cane sighed and raised the radio to her mouth.

"Yes Lemon Berrykin? What is it?"

"The guard shifts in 1 hour. Just to let you know."

"Woo-hoo. Thanks."

"Welcome." She set the radio down and resumed reading her magazine. As she was reading, she didn't notice a string pass in front of her eyes, until it was too late. It tightened around her neck, and suddenly she couldn't breathe! She struggled and struggled, but to no avail. Her vision started to black out. her struggles got weaker and weaker. After twenty more seconds of it, she finally slumped down, dead. Ozone withdrew the garroting wire and said

"Tango down." Soap, Meat, and Roach crept out of the shadows of the alleyway, rifles at the ready. The each grabbed a gasoline tank, and started dousing the trucks. Meat shook his head, and muttered to himself

"It is a shame. We have to waste these fine trucks." Roach heard and nodded in agreement. Soap was down dousing his truck, when he noticed something. A very fine truck. Four doors, and a large flatbed. He recognized the truck, and its top speed was 120 mph. A perfect get away truck! He climbed into the driver's seat, and started it up. he drove it into a nearby garage, and he shut the door. He kept the keys. Roach came up to him, and asked

"What was that about?"

"It's a getaway car, mate."

"Oh. Yeah. Hey, where are Ghost and Chemo?" As soon as he said that, a resounding boom went out across the city. Soap looked at the explosion, and then back at Roach.

"There you go mate." He raised his voice. "Alright! Ghost and Chemo should have their attention for the next few minutes, so let's get cracking! Douse those trucks, come on!"

August 13th, 1:27 AM, Shortcake City. Strawberry's quarters.

Strawberry was sleeping soundly, having good dreams about executing the former defense secretary. She almost had the president, but the slippery weasel slipped away. She licked her lips in anticipation. Suddenly, a resounding boom shocked her awake, and she rolled off the bed and had her pistol up in an instant! Suddenly, someone knocked on her door! Who dared knock, on HER DOOR? She yelled

"I do not care! Go away!"

"But my lord! One of the weapon depot s have been sabotaged!" She was up and out of her bed in an instant.

"What happened!"

"No one knows my lord!" She was dressed in her combat fatigues and had her pistol strapped on in an instant. She slammed the door open, and shocked the Shortcake standing outside. It was Peppermint Fizz.

"You better find out what happened. Quick!"

"Yes my lord!" She scurried away. Strawberry stormed off to the War Room.

August 13th, 1:41 AM, Shortcake City

Archer was sitting on top of a rooftop, looking out at the city below him. He could see several squads of tangos running towards the blown weapons depot. He thought about maybe taking one or two out, but decided against it. He called up Soap on his radio. "Soap, I have eyes on several squads of tangos. They are running towards the weapons depot. You are clear to move, over."

"Roger that Archer. Keep me posted. Out." Archer settled down and sighted down his rifle scope. He could see most of the city down there. It was a beautiful sight. Or, it would be, if there weren't piles of bodies on every street corner. He shook his head in disgust. While scanning the streets, he saw an enemy patrol moving towards the team. He grabbed his radio.

"Soap. You have a patrol of three tangos moving towards you. I recommend not engaging, over."

"Roger Archer." Archer kept his sights on the patrol. It was three of the Shortcakes. They were walking through the streets, occasionally kicking bodies around. Archer cursed at them under his breath. he hated this. As he was watching them, one of them looked down an alleyway, and walked down it. She returned a few seconds later, holding a young boy by the arm. She started shaking him, and hitting him. They all started laughing. Archer shook with anger. He didn't know whether to engage or not, but he made up his mind when one of them shot at the boy's feet. He put the crosshairs over her ehad, and pulled the trigger.

Mint Berrykin was holding the boy and laughing raucously while Frosty Puff shot at his feet. Suddenly, Frosty Puffs head exploded! Mint Beryykin instantly had her AK up and was scanning the streets. Next to her, Tangerina Torta was spraying the rooftops when a bullet slammed into her throat, and she flew back. Mint Berrykin tried to run away towards the alley, but barely took a step when a bullet impacted on her head, and suddenly everything was black.

Archer smiled with grim satisfaction as he took down the three tangos. When they were all dead, he smiled as the boy ran off. Archer hailed Soap on the radio.

"Soap. I just took out three tangos. Letting you know."

"Really? Alright, good job. Where you spotted?"

"They were going to execute a civilian."

"Ahh. Ok. keep me posted, again."

"Roger."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Call of Duty or Strawberry Shortcake, but I do own franchises that resemble but are legally distinct from them called Request of Onus and Shtrawberry Chortcake. Trololol.

I guess I have to say sorry for the long time to update this, if anyone has been waiting, but it was a combination of not caring and writers block.

August 13th, 1:51 AM, Shortcake City

Raspberry Torte and Plum Puddin' were posted on guard duty of the Communications Tower. And, it was boring. Really boring. Raspberry Torte kept pacing back and forth, trying to will the time to go faster. Plum Puddin' was reading a _Cooking Light _magazine, trying to find a certain recipe. After a few minutes of it, Raspberry Torte yelled in frustration.

"I can't take this anymore! This is so boring!" Plum Puddin' looked up from her magazine.

"Come on. This isn't so bad! At least we're not on the front lines."

"True." Raspberry Torte paused. "Hey, can you get some coffee?"

"Sure." Plum Puddin' got up, but she accidentally tripped out of her chair. She was such a klutz.

Soap peeked in the window of the Comm Tower. He looked just in time to see one trip out of her chair. He shook his head. He called up Archer on his radio.

"Archer. You have eyes on the Truck Depot?"

"Yeah."

"Anyone around it?"

"3 tangos."

"Light it up."

"Sure thing." Archer steadied his M21 EBR Sniper Rifle. The Truck Depot was only half a klick away from his post, but he didn't want to make any mistake. He set his sights on one of the gasoline tanks. It was a virtual bomb. When the three bad guys were close to the truck depot, he took the shot. The sound was muffled by the thick silencer, but the damage wasn't muffled. The gas tank exploded sky high, and the gas drenched trucks shortly followed suit. The three bad guys flew backwards from the force of the fireball. Archer chuckled.

"Tangos down."

"Roger that." Soap silently took up a position on the left side of the door, while Ghost and Roach were on the other side. Ozone, Meat, and Chemo created a perimeter around the complex. Soap whispered to Ghost

"Kick it in on three." Ghost nodded. He stood in front on the door. "1.." Ghost tensed. "2..." Ghost took a step back. "3!" He drew his leg back, and kicked with all his might. The wooden door came off at the hinges. Soap and Roach rushed in, closely followed by Ghost. Roach swept to the right, and saw a tango at the coffee machine trying to draw her sidearm. He shot her once in the head with his M4A1, and swept the rest of the room. Soap cleared the left, and shot the tango sitting in the chair twice in the chest. She fell backwards with a loud bang.

"Clear!" Roach shouted.

"Clear!" Soap responded. Suddenly, they all heard a banging sound. Like boots on stairs. A door in front of them burst open, and a tango burst out with a revolver, shooting.

Blue Muffin was sitting in the Communications tower, bored. Normally, her shift ended in just one hour! But, because of the blown ammo dump, everyone was put on high alert. That meant no sleep for the next 12 hours or so. She sighed. Blueberry Muffin heard a loud bang from upstairs. She was certain it was Plum Puddin'. She was such a klutz. She settled down in her chair, closing her eyes for a short doze, when suddenly a massive boom rang out. A voice came squawking on the radio seconds later. It was Raspberry Tart.

"What in THE BLAZES was that?" Someone answered, but Blueberry Muffin couldn't tell.

"I don't know!" Another person joined in.

"It sounded like it came from the ammo dump!" Raspberry replied with

"Well, Lime Chiffon, GO AND CHECK!" Blueberry Muffin was about to ask a question on the radio, when suddenly there was a loud bang upstairs. Plum Puddin' couldn't have fallen again... could she? Suddenly, there was another bang, and after that two male voices shouted. She didn't hesitate. She grabbed her .44 magnum, and rushed up stairs. She opened the door, shooting and shouting

"DIE MOTHAFUCKERS!"

Mere seconds after they had cleared the room, another tango burst in the room from another door. She shouted

"DIE MOTHAFUCKERS!" She unloaded all six shots from her revolver. When she was out, Soap Roach and Ghost were still standing. They looked down at themselves, and looked at the wall behind them. Six bullet holes. They simultaneously looked at the new tango, then at each other. Lightning fast, Ghost drew his USP .45 and shot the new tango twice in the chest. She collapsed, dead. Roach shrugged.


End file.
